Evening Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Scheme

Late-night's top comedians used the broadcast ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's newly unveiled immigration initiative, called the "golden visa," describing it as a clear pay-to-play system for the rich.

Stephen Colbert's Witty Take

Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas tune targeting the president. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Donald Trump ... destroys everything he handles."

The subject was the new initiative that permits international citizens to buy U.S. residency for a sum of $1 million dollars, or "platinum" version for 5 million. The program's website pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."

"One thought here to rich applicants: prior to you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He explained that the card is also designed to "squeeze cash" from firms wanting to hire foreign workers, requiring significant payments. "That is a lot of fees, however if you sign up, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your choosing – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"The best screening the government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"This is a card that will let wealthy foreigners to live here," he stated. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel mocked the brevity of the form, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging approval ratings amid financial anxiety. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term because they were mad about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a attempt to discuss affordability, Trump held a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, and behaved peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting right-leaning media coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.